But That's Not What I Ordered!

I have always looked forward to deliveries, mail or orders, with great anticipation. Even when I know what should be in the box or bag to come, I am excited when it arrives, much like a kid on Christmas morning. Today my mailbox was literally stuffed with two orders I had made to Amazon. One was a set of really cute snowflake table mats and coasters that I wanted to use to decorate my dining room table during the winter months. The other was supposed to be a 19 inch square pillow form to use with the pillow cover my daughter had given me for Christmas. I excitedly opened the bag, and, what "to my wondering eyes should appear" but this: a singing and dancing knitted cactus figure. What!!! ??? Amazon is an amazing creation. A business that can almost instantaneously provide you with your wants and dreams. Living in a semi-rural part of East Tennessee, however, it is never instantaneous. So I had been looking forward for nearly a week to finally being able to use my gorgeous linen pillow cover. I certainly did not want or need a dancing cactus figure. So I went on-line to the "my orders" place on Amazon. Of course, the immediate message was that my order had been delivered to my mailbox. Not. Then I went to their website customer service section and tried to let them know there was a problem and I wanted to get it fixed. I must have spent nearly thirty minutes dealing with an automated version of how to explain my problem and to get it resolved. In the end, I was finally connected with a "real" person on customer chat. I was told they would totally refund my money and, per my request, add an Amazon gift card for the full amount to my account. Then I just should reorder the pillow form. Now what to do with the cactus? "Well," they said," you can keep it, and perhaps donate it." I have looked up this cactus on-line. Apparently, you can make it react to sounds to which it will respond and dance. I wonder what its reaction would be if I screamed in frustration and shouted some four letter words? Well I won't know until I add the four necessary batteries, and they were not included!